Closer to the edge

Alright, the last few weeks were kind of overwhelming. So many things have changed, Christmas and New Year's Eve passed by, and I made some purposes for 2012. Besides become a ham radio operator, I would like to finally learn to ride a bicycle (a traumatic event in my childhood spoiled this, but I am willed to overcome it).
You may already have learned that mostly it's quite easy to throw me off the track, though. That may be because I am not that strong I would like to be. I am very unsteady and not very self-confident which is (that's what I have realized now) is the key to a successful, convincing crossplay.

Well, something else happened. I received IT!!!! It was quite uncertain, but my Sailor Uranus Cosplay arrived before New Year's Eve! Of course I put it on instantly, but I am not yet confident enough to show pictures (I will get up on it, I promise).
What should I say? It was an eerie feeling (I use the word eerie, because strange is nowhere near to what I felt in that moment). I mean of course, it was one of my biggest dreams to cosplay her one day, but to see your own dream come true is another story.
So I was standing there in our master bedroom wearing this costume (which was broken on two or three seams, but I fixed it already, however, I need another pair of gloves, the ones delivered are crap) and I thought "well, it could work out very well. It's not easy, because you are unmistakeable a guy wearing a dress", but I attribute this to myself not being clean-shaven. Plus, I need to get the boots, too. This will become another adventure. First of all to get boots in Size US11 (female size), and then the heels are about 2", which is quite high. I bought (I have to admit) boots to train with, that had about the same heel size, and I am not that bad in walking in them, but it's tough and requires some concentration, but I hope it will become easier as time goes by.

Though my sweetheart said she would support me, I am not even confident enough to wear this costume in front of her. This is the first step I have to take before going out in public! Why am I that nervous anyway? What could she do for real? Laugh? Call me a freak? We already had that! But maybe it's just me again afraid of not being able to hadle her reaction...I have to become much more confident? Any tips anyone? Well, I am closer to the edge, now I have to jump. Either I will hit the floor or I will spread my wings and fly....I hope the latter....


I would like to get as much positive reinforcement as possible. Not because I want to take centre stage at any cost, but I had to deal with opposing forces yet, and I don't want to go down the very same way ever again! So please feel free to give me advice on how to deal with it, and how to convince my girlfriend that this could be great, because I need her help on makeup and stuff, as I am not very good at these things (though I am not the typical man with tools and oil stained clothing...I consider myself to be at least 20% but not more than 30% girly ;) )