http://crossplay.net/blog/33-cosplay-complicated/ cosplay com...plicated Syndication Sun, 17 Feb 2013 16:48:21 +0000 No-Reply@Crossplay.net (Crossplay.net Forums) IP.Blog 60 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-119-devious-truths-being-disclosed-the-end-of-an-era/ Okay, stop being melodramatic, but what has happened today really got me thinking and eventually I will stop crossplaying.

So, one by one:

my wife and I planned to do a partner cos on the next convention. My wife looked for a new gothic lolita-esk dress for some time now, and a few weeks ago, she finally found it. Okay, it was a costume from the Vocaloid series, but, never the less, it looked gorgeous!
So, she thought about, who I could cosplay as, and - to my surprise - suggested me to do a crossdressing character from Vocaloid (to all insiders: Imitation Black).
JACKPOT, my own wife who always had trouble accepting my passion now suggests female costumes herself. It couldn't get any better. She even said that she would "help me to make it look really great".
Well, after some delays due to our upcoming move to a new appartment, today we sat down and took the measurements.
I was just about to enter them when she said "Hey, let me have another look at the original character."
I didn't think anything about it and googled a picture with the whole cast from the song "Bad Night End". I never made such a big mistake before...

Suddenly, she threw everything over. Instead of the dress I imaginary had befriended with already was replaced by an elegant men's dress-coat. I just sat there struggling for anything to reply. At this point, I have to admit that from that moment on, I wasn't very fair and nice anymore, but an eye for an eye, or what was that saying?

So I looked at it, and I have to admit, I have no problem showing my legs when cosplaying a charater-costume-combination I like, like for example Sailor Uranus or Shuichi Shindou. But looking at the picture I thought "No, shorts look awkward. Thought it's not true to original, I would rather got with long pants instead of the actual ones."
That was against my wife's will, and eventually, she almost forced me to do the real version with shorts (though I already know I won't feel very comfortable, because I don't like the whole design of that costume, but making that clear to my wife will cost me more energy than I could spend).

Now, here comes the part that annoys me the most. After facing my personal Waterloo, she said in a calming voice: "Hey, you still have that other costume." She talked about Rabi~en~Rose. But the undertone in her voice clearly said "I just agree with this one because I will make sure you will look ridiculous."
So I snapped, sort of. I replied: "Oh...THAT one...nah, I just don't like it anymore (knowing that it was already planned for a convention in june). I think I will sell it unworn.."
She didn't say anything. So I thought about how far I can go and looked for another costume for her. Of course, she noticed it. Smiling, I explained: "Yeah, I thought instead of that little brat (Rabi~en~Rose that is) I would rather do Cloud Strife. And so, yeah, basically, I ask you kindly to do Aerith." She agreed.

I don't know what enrages me the most. Her throwing our plans in disarray, or because besides that she still sort of commands on how my costume she forced me to do has to look like.

So for now, I cease cosplaying by the end of 2014 because I can't stand these quarrels anymore. I know I will abandon something I really enjoy, but my energy and the harmony is more important than my egoism and my wishes.

Well then, the last round has begun ]]> Sun, 17 Feb 2013 14:00:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-119-devious-truths-being-disclosed-the-end-of-an-era/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-112-i-cossed-a-girld-and-i-liked-it-kinda/ As you may have heard, I was on a convention in Dortmund, NRW, this week end together with my webradio team.
We had a full broadcast, so everyone who was not on-site didn't miss anything!

The week end started with a stressful and annoying discussion marathon. I had to work on friday, but glad to my job as an IT specialist, I could work from home. The only problem was: We wanted to start at 2 p.m., but the car wasn't packed, the apartment wasn't tidied up, and as I said, I had to work, too.
So between two support calls, I rushed to the car and stuff every piece of equipment, then vacuum cleaned the floors and did the dishes...
When we were finally driving on the high way, I knew that the most troublesome part was finally over...
We had a nice evening with our team and went to bed early, as the next day would come too soon.

At 7 a.m. on saturday, our night was over. After breakfast, our tech staff (me and my pal ran over the the con-hall and set everything up.
After the briefing, I had several minutes left before we had to start our broadcast.
So I rushed to the toilets and got ready for my first en femme (in the broadest sense) experience.
I felt kind of nervous when I left the toilet and returned to our nerve center.
Of course the reactions were widespread. From a sympathic, yet encouraging laugh, to stunning and disagreeing "WTF?" faces, I got everything I (didn't) ask for.
But after my hair was done and the final adjustments were made, my day could start...

Though I had some problems concerning...unwanted body reactions (to express it objectively) in prep time few weeks before the con, this time, everything went fine.
The most surprising part was that suddenly, I got a totally different body feeling. I walked differently, i gestured differently...didn't think that a simple costume could cause it

But the whole suit had some nasty side effect. I almost wore NOTHING...I mean, that suit has not that much fabric at all. But I was sweating like hell. A few minutes after I had it on, I felt the water dripping from my forehead.... I was really glad the I didn't use any make up. It would have been necessary, though.

A few hours into the day, I noticed some other sailor senshi cosplayer snapping pictures right in front of our stand. I swear to god, I didn't do anything to get attention, because I thought "They look gorgeous...I wouldn't fit in, though..."
But suddely, that Sailor Moon went up to me, smiled and said "you look great. Wanna take some pics?"
Her partner, an amazing "Belle"-cosplayer (nicknamed "The Beauty and the Camera")told me how to pose, and snap, I got the first picture. When reviewing it online, I realized, that I didn't look that bad. I have to admit, that I am far from perfect, but my costume turned out nicer than I imagined it.




At 6 p.m., my wife asked me to escort her to the hotel. She twisted her ankle a few days earlier (some bad twist in fate, I suppose...) and couldn't stand any longer.

Though it was great to cosplay a girl, wearing a skirt and stuff, I realized that week end what I really wanted to do. I realized, that I get very uncomfortable crossdressing in public (that is, outside a convention). Even the way to the parking lot (to get some supplies) was strange. The moment I left the premises, I felt strange and thought "get back asap!".

So before I took her to the hotel, I changed again, also because it got way to warm in it...

So, what lessons do I draw?

First, I think that being a girl on conventions is enough for me. I shocked my wife by saying "I didn't look convincing enough. I have to look way more girly", so she thought I would take it way beyond cosplay and want to become a transgendered person. No, I never want to, even though it was a great experience and I am curious, what it would feel like! But I am not confident enough to wear a skirt outside a convention ground, plus I am okay being a boy!
But on the other side, I also think that I could take it a step further. I want to look as convincing as possible without crossing the line of transsexuality. I think about make up and stuff to make my face more smooth and girly, but I am not ashamed to show "Hey, I am a guy, but I try my best!"
To me, it's just another thing with cosplay: Do your best, get as many details as possible, but if something is not feasible, it's okay!
I am not going to break my ribs to get a more female body shape, I am not going to do surgery to get boobs, and I definately not going to take hormones!

Yesterday evening, I had another talk with my wife where I declared the same things. I wasn't persuasive enough, I suppose. She was really suspicious about my statements, but I think she's okay with it. She accepts that I like cosplaying girls, and that I would try to pass as good as possible, as long as I just do this: cosplaying.

To sum it up, this week end was intense, but got me to another girl costume. Because of another lost bet, I have to cosplay another girl in November...can't wait to get to it!

UPDATE: Every time I think I know her, my wife surprises me once more. We sat together yesterday (Tuesday evening) and talked about possible cosplays for November besides the one that is set already (not a girl, but Edward Elric from the Shamballa arc). We had a crazy yet amazing idea: We switch roles. She is doing Tuxedo Mask with me as Sailor Moon....do I have to note that I like this idea?]]> Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:21:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-112-i-cossed-a-girld-and-i-liked-it-kinda/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-111-its-the-final-countdown-duh-duh-duuuh-duuh/ First of all, I am very relieved to see that not every convention is filled with *peep* cosplayers that try to discredit you!

So this is a slight empowerment in my crossplay plans! Remember? I'm going to become Sailor Uranus!

Counting from today, there are 44 days left until my premiere of my very first cross-cosplay! I'm getting more nervous every single second
I am doing some advertising on Facebook, both for the convention, out live broadcast AND my cosplay (though this is a little bit subtle by posting pictures).

Now, what do I have to do? Convince my wife? Nah, we've done that one!
In fact, she is willing to do the make up and give me some more tips! I really love her!
There are some more things to buy (Yeas, I have to admit it, I am not very good in doing things myself!)

The boots are ordered, tailored and shipped! They are already within my country, but I won't get them? The custom's office didn't seem to let me get my parcel...it will be a tough battle!

Also, some accessoirs are missing, like the brooch, the tiara and the choker. I ordered them as well. I he they will arrive in time!

After having finally asseble the costume, I am going to wear it for a test shooting with everything, make up and stuff. I'm already excited about this. This will be the first time I will see myself "en femme"!

So stay tuned for more information and hopefully some pictures! The Time is ticking....]]> Thu, 31 May 2012 11:10:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-111-its-the-final-countdown-duh-duh-duuuh-duuh/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-104-closer-to-the-edge/ You may already have learned that mostly it's quite easy to throw me off the track, though. That may be because I am not that strong I would like to be. I am very unsteady and not very self-confident which is (that's what I have realized now) is the key to a successful, convincing crossplay.

Well, something else happened. I received IT!!!! It was quite uncertain, but my Sailor Uranus Cosplay arrived before New Year's Eve! Of course I put it on instantly, but I am not yet confident enough to show pictures (I will get up on it, I promise).
What should I say? It was an eerie feeling (I use the word eerie, because strange is nowhere near to what I felt in that moment). I mean of course, it was one of my biggest dreams to cosplay her one day, but to see your own dream come true is another story.
So I was standing there in our master bedroom wearing this costume (which was broken on two or three seams, but I fixed it already, however, I need another pair of gloves, the ones delivered are crap) and I thought "well, it could work out very well. It's not easy, because you are unmistakeable a guy wearing a dress", but I attribute this to myself not being clean-shaven. Plus, I need to get the boots, too. This will become another adventure. First of all to get boots in Size US11 (female size), and then the heels are about 2", which is quite high. I bought (I have to admit) boots to train with, that had about the same heel size, and I am not that bad in walking in them, but it's tough and requires some concentration, but I hope it will become easier as time goes by.

Though my sweetheart said she would support me, I am not even confident enough to wear this costume in front of her. This is the first step I have to take before going out in public! Why am I that nervous anyway? What could she do for real? Laugh? Call me a freak? We already had that! But maybe it's just me again afraid of not being able to hadle her reaction...I have to become much more confident? Any tips anyone? Well, I am closer to the edge, now I have to jump. Either I will hit the floor or I will spread my wings and fly....I hope the latter....


I would like to get as much positive reinforcement as possible. Not because I want to take centre stage at any cost, but I had to deal with opposing forces yet, and I don't want to go down the very same way ever again! So please feel free to give me advice on how to deal with it, and how to convince my girlfriend that this could be great, because I need her help on makeup and stuff, as I am not very good at these things (though I am not the typical man with tools and oil stained clothing...I consider myself to be at least 20% but not more than 30% girly ;) )]]> Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:52:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-104-closer-to-the-edge/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-95-all-or-nothing-preparations-the-wifes-way/
But winter is the best time in another aspect. There are almost no conventions, not even small ones (don't know about the U.S.A., but in Germany it is common to arrange smaller conventions on a more local level with about 40 to 80 visitors), so there is plenty of time to prepare the next year (if you are a "freak" like me, you know what I am talking about).

My next year's to-do list consists of a variety of characters, reaching from Tsukasa (.hack//SIGN) and Toshiro Hitsugaya (Bleach) to more "saucy" characters like Kohaku from Inuyasha, or even two girls (namely Rabi~en~Rose and Sailor Uranus).

Yesterday, I bought (yes, I admit, I am a dabbler in some ways) my Sailor Uranus Cosplay. But what would a preperation be without some notes and advices from my wife? Right, Boring!

I showed her the pictures I used for reference, and she noted something that could cause serious trouble later on.
She said "Oh my....are you sure that you can walk in those boots?" and pointed at the heels.
In this moment I seriously thought about ceasing this. I mean, I used to wear boots with higher heels when wearing my Archangel Michael Cosplay, but I realized that heels that high would become a problem. And a twisted and/or broken ankle is a sacrifice I am not willed to offer!

But since my wife has eventually become very supportive, she said "Don't worry, you have enough time till you wear it. Buy it, and try to find some boots on eBay or so, so that you can learn walking in them.

I looked at her, shocked. You have to know, that normally, the "trial and error" thing is my domain, so I was surprised that my girlfriend gave my this advice.

Well, now I feel like stirring on the very fine line between crossplay as such and crossdressing, as I am wearing "clothes" of the opposite sex not on a convention but in private. Okay, it's not crossdressing in the regular meaning of living the life of the opposite sex every day, but still.... I feel a little bit nervous about this, but I don't know why! Maybe because this is the first time my wife is the instigator....

Well, that's preperation done the wife's way. If you want to do it, you first have to prove that you are ABLE to do it... Okay, I am ready!]]> Thu, 24 Nov 2011 07:24:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-95-all-or-nothing-preparations-the-wifes-way/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-89-words-to-remember-the-cutest-girl-in-the-world/ ression "When hell freezes over", right?
Okay, so I was thinking "Rather hell freezes over than my wife (yes we are finally married) is supporting me thoroughly."

The following lines shouldn't be read by prejudging and/or intolerant people. You have been warned!

Well, we finally agreed that I am free to cosplay whoever I want, and if it's a girl, it would be okay as long as I don't cross any borders she would feel uncomfortable with. One thing was (as far as I remember) she would help me, but only to a point she wouldn't cross herself, e.g. she wouldn't use full set of makeup to get the right look (she is very inaccurate in terms of styling, and only puts on makeup if necessary for her costume to be recognized, like a scar or a tattoo).

Yesterday morning, I showed her a costume, I would really like to do. It was Michael from Angel Sanctuary, wearing some ... let's say saucy clothings.

Take a look

However, her reaction was a random "using cosplay to act out your fetish, huh?"

Saying "fetish" was something I couldn't stand. And if I can't stand something I use to overreact. In this case, I said "Alright honey, you know what? That's it! I'm done with cosplay. If you ascribe me to have any fetish, just because I utter a favour to a clothing style, or a costume, than I tell you, I will no longer have "fetishes" in your definition. I will stop cosplaying from this day on!

The morning was done for, but that was just one of two point regarding the cause (the other one was a doing things for the sake of doing things because my wife got an SMS that our new couch was delivered to a shop, and she wanted to get it preferably yesterday, so she turned the world around to get it, which pissed me off).

On the way to a local car rental service, we had our first heart-to-heart concerning cosplay for at least three months.

She said, she doesn't really care, what I would like to cosplay or not to cosplay, and all in all, she was very understanding, But I couldn't resist to dismiss her idea of me having any sexual meaning in cosplay. I admitted, that there is sexual attraction to some costumes. But only because of the character wearing the costume or stuff. Actually, I don't really know. For example Alexiel from Angel Sanctuary. Of course, that chick is hot. And I believe I am not the only guy who is kind of attracted to Alexiel. Maybe this is one reason. I don't know if this sounds gross or pervert, but it is by far not the only reason. I like her character, and the look, as for many male characters as well.

Anyway, I took this opportunity to bring up some points from our last debate. I reminder her of her words concerning her support (the "not more than I would to with makeup"-thing), and this time, she surprised me. I think I will nibble on it for another few weeks.

She said "I never meant to say this. I mean, if it is your wish, and you say that you are certain to do it, I am the last one to forbid it. You do have some androgyn look...with some pounds less, but that's another story... but I do think I could turn you into the cutest girl in the world."

Okay, this was the first time, she backed me with no strings attached! She would help me to turn into a girl for the sake of cosplay!

Well, not really. There is ONE condition. She said "But if one time you feel that cosplay is not enough, and you think about SRT, please let me know from the beginning, because I don't think I can be together with you anymore then."

Nevertheless, I never thought about transitioning. I am satisfied, and besides the "normal curiousity", like "What is it like to wear a bra", there is no feeling that tells me to wear girl's clothes regularly besides any conventions!

And who knows, maybe my first crossplay will be my last due to disappointment ;)

In any way, I am glad my wife is fully supportive. I hope she will be when I bring the big guns in (tucking, padding hips, and worst case wearing a corset).]]> Sun, 06 Nov 2011 14:06:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-89-words-to-remember-the-cutest-girl-in-the-world/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-84-devil-may-care-i-wouldnt-either/ The only thing that I can remember quite vividly was the next con's slogan.

"Devil May Care"

I was like "Oh my god, this is it! That's the right occasion!"

I was thinking about my very first crossplay, Rabi~en~Rose!
But there is still a lot to do! Thank God I find trust in my wife! We were talking about how to achieve faking the bust. She said "No problem, I have an old bra, that has become way to tight for me. If we cut of the straps, stuff out the cups and then sew them up to have a smooth surface to attach it with double sided adhesive tape (though the clasp may be enough, we want to make sure!). I hope this will be good for you!"
I have to say, that she is against silicone breasts because of moral hesitation, which I respect (she has worked with breast cancer patients before, so I understand this).

This is fucking awesome! I will feel great! Not just because I just want to try out how it is to be "female", but to put an end to the senseless discussions with my wife!]]> Mon, 26 Sep 2011 20:10:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-84-devil-may-care-i-wouldnt-either/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-77-when-the-dust-begins-to-settle/ If you wonder, how this could happen in this little time, let me tell you the story:

I was looking for a way to tell her, that crossplay has nothing to do with the gender or the sexual identity for most of the crossplayers (of course, there are some exceptions, also on this bulletin board).
But I never found the right occasion to do the first step. But a few days ago, I found a thread on cosplay.com, and I just translated it and passed it to her. She read it, nodded, and said "See? This is what I waited for. Now I understand it, and to be honest, I support you."

The problem she had were the silicone breasts.
As a doctor's assistant, she had a medical view on these artificial limbs, as they are also used by people that suffer from breast cancer. So she found it macabre using them for just fun.

I agreed and promised to not buy them, but to find a different way for faking a bosom. Thanks to Kimberly, I already found it. So now I can say "All systems go!" And I lookforward doing Alexiel-sama :D

The fight is over...hopefully ad infinitum!]]> Wed, 15 Jun 2011 11:51:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-77-when-the-dust-begins-to-settle/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-76-a-serious-attempt-new-discussions-new-reproaches/ the way of assembling a costume.
You know, the last time, we worked hand in hand. But what if is not just a "skin tight body suit that gets you aroused, right honey?" (No, it's not arousal, but excitation!)
What if it is a REAL crossplay? Well...back to square one!

In this case, the costume is already done by a good friend of mine.
This could be the big break! Yes, the first time that I can call a female dress my own!
Well, it COULD have been the big break. But again, things again are becoming somewhat annoying.

[parenthesis]

My good friend did a great job on Rabi~En~Rose, however, there is one thing she (most likely by mistake) missed: I'm a guy. I'm lacking two very specious arguments!
So as you can imagine there is plenty of space "up there".

[paranthesis end]

Enter my girlfriend!
Most often, her ideas are like deus ex machina. But when it comes to crossplay, here ideas are like "Close, but no banana!"
Asking her, what to do, she gives me this advice: buy silicone straps, and sew them to the dress to keep it up.
Great idea, really! I mean, this one didn't come to my mind though.
But when I thought about it, I figured out that it would fail the sense of crossplay. I think this would look pegged out at the last moment! No way, this is contrary to my ambitions!
So ... Zhen me ban?
We are currently discussing whether to stuff out a bra with paper tissues or to do the real thing (silicone breast forms). However, each of this approaches is more pervert to my girlfriend than the other one....

To her, it is okay, to just wear the dress, the wig and that's it.
No darling, that's NOT it. My ambition is to look at least a little bit like the character. and if this character is female, the bust measurement is important, too.
Well, the "fight" is going on....I would like to have breast forms... but if it is "pervert"....]]> Fri, 27 May 2011 21:41:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-76-a-serious-attempt-new-discussions-new-reproaches/ http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-73-the-end-justifies-the-means-cooperation-with-my-fiancee/ Actually, I'm quite a fighter in terms of my own plans and visions, but as you can imagine, sometimes it's better to compromise. This time has come NOW!

After my latest discussion with my fiancee, I decided to let go of my plans. Not only because I wanted to put these discussions to an end, but also after I read the comments regarding my last entry.

Well, after lending a unitard, I decided that though it should actually be more accurate, it doesn't look good. Maybe it was just because the size didn't fit, but my first impression was that I would not be satisfied with the results.

So I switched to the backup plan.
Enter my girlfriend.

It took her incredible 5 minutes (sic!) to find the necessary clothes.

In that moment I thought that it would be beneficial for both my cosplay plans and my relationship to team up with her.
Well there ARE some things we disagree, but after all, her suggesstion for Kohaku was right: A pair of black leggings and a black body suit.

But don't think that this could be okay....

Well, the first thing we had to choose was the body suit. I didn't trust in cheap products, and that is how it came!

The first body suit was 100% nylon, and even though my girlfriend said that it would do, I was skeptic. This time I was right. the bodysuit felt like a pantyhose, which was not very comfortable. So we sent it back to where we bought it from, and after (again only some minutes) searching on the internet, my girlfriend showed me a body suit made of cotton.

What should I say? It was perfect.
Now we had a problem with the pair of leggings. The first pair we bought was quite neat, perhaps a little bit too short, but okay. But I wasn't satisfied with the fabric, as it had a nasty flashiness, that didn't fit with the bodysuit.

So we had to look for a different pair of leggings. The big surprise: My girlfriend gave me one of her old one's. Okay, it is too loose on the belly, but I don't care, because I wear the body suit over it (She has XL, I have size M). So this is done. I hope Sailor Uranus will be as easy as this! No wait, I hate her shirt idea......]]> Tue, 08 Mar 2011 11:35:00 +0000 http://crossplay.net/blog/33/entry-73-the-end-justifies-the-means-cooperation-with-my-fiancee/