[Bridget]

Well, something's been bugging me lately (wow, 2 topics by me in one day, world must be ending....)


I've been trying to ponder, somewhat, the whole crossplay/crossdressing thing.....

My problem is, I really dont know WHY the heck I like it. And I wanna figure it out....

I mean, I've realized lately, it's more than just cosplay/crossplay; if I knew I could crossdress without too much chance of detection, I'd probably do it (I dunno enough about makeup yet though).

I like dressing up like that, but why the hell is that?



So, I was hoping some of you that have been into this longer could provide some insights, maybe, that might help?


Yeah, that's about all, for this one. Just been bugging me a bit lately, and I'd like to explore it further.

[Abaddon]

Why do any of us like anything really? If we all reacted to things the same and phenomena actually had a tangible quality that could be measured as likable then we would all like the same things.

My guess is its a combination of life experience and genetics though that's about as vague as one can get.

[dtgen]

People crossdress for a number of reasons. Some are aroused by wearing women's clothes, a sort of becoming that which you desire. Others like the thrill of breaking a social norm and being able to fool others into thinking they're something they're not. Yet others simply just like the clothes. For you, I'd probably say the latter 2, from your comment about doing it more if you knew you could pass well

[Sailor-Neptune]

I just prefer the clothes.

Cloud costume or Aerith cotume? Aerith wins every time :)

[strycer]

Sailor-Neptune said:

I just prefer the clothes.

Cloud costume or Aerith cotume? Aerith wins every time :)

I am the same way, when it comes cosplay. I also just seem to identify more with female characters.

[Gavlov]

Sailor-Neptune said:

I just prefer the clothes.

Cloud costume or Aerith cotume? Aerith wins every time :)

Just in general.....

Cloud or Aerith?
We all know the answer to that.

As for why, let's see....

Cause you can, cause you enjoy it, cause you like the looks you get from wearing crostumes (patented, if not already), cause you find happiness in becoming a whole new entity...

It's all pretty personal with the why.
Just ask, What is your favorite part of it?

When do you feel the best in the crostume?

[PsychoLeCemu]

because girls clothes are fun. Just saying the word "Frilly" just sends that GOOD shiver up your spine, haha. What is there not to like about crossplay/crossdressing? (Besides those who are closed minded and always thinks it is fun to pick on you/beat you up)

Really, I can think of nothing. If anything, it brought out a healthier personality to me IMO. Also, better habit than smoking for me. xP

[erikapaige]

Its obviously quite possible for a guy to like girls things. Just we live in a world where it's a no no so we tend to blame ourselves or end up confused. If it were socially acceptable to like such things, you wouldn't be asking this question :)

It's the conditions of the culture we live in; it's not you1 Enjoy away! :)

[strycer]

erikapaige said:

Its obviously quite possible for a guy to like girls things. Just we live in a world where it's a no no so we tend to blame ourselves or end up confused. If it were socially acceptable to like such things, you wouldn't be asking this question :)

It's the conditions of the culture we live in; it's not you1 Enjoy away! :)

That is why I say screw society and social norms. I decided a long time ago that I am going to do what makes feel good. And doing this does, decides that women have so many more choices when it comes clothing. I also find that I hate shopping for guys clothing while I love shopping for girls clothing. Guys clothing is also so uncomfortable, womens clothing of the most part is the complete opposite

[Sailor-Neptune]

[quote name="Gavlov"] [quote name="Sailor-Neptune"]I just prefer the clothes.
It's all pretty personal with the why.
Just ask, What is your favorite part of it?

When do you feel the best in the crostume?[/quote]
Hmm, probably when I have it on and try to do female movements.

[Phox3]

Question set:
Do you feel aroused sexually? (not always a fun thought)
If so, it may be because you are venturing into taboo territory. The rush of being caught can be stimulating. But is that the only reason you do it?

Does crossdressing make you feel differently? (good or bad?)
If bad and you still feel a desire, than you may have a guilt issue to confront. If good, welcome. I always have a sense of completeness.

Do you identify closer to male or female stereotypes? (You see a rabbit. Do you think: Aww, cute bunny!! or Haven't seen a wild one in a while?)
Identifying strongly with the opposite sex is normal for crossdressers. The reasons could be from nature (you're wired closer to a girl than boy) or nurture (you were brought-up in a way that contered how most males were or some event in your life triggered the "I don't ever want to be a guy" register in your mind)

Does your personality change when crossdressed? (Not just gestures, but moods, emotions, confidence?)
Note: If true, than you may have two personality types fighting for control. Basically, there may be aspects of both personalities that are truely you, and others that are not. You have to discover which is which.

I had the last one. I wanted to be softer, nicer, more compassionate than I was brought up to be. After I discovered this, I struggled to find myself: who I am, what I am, what do I want out of life. After answering these questions, I found I was truly a girl trapped in this body. (I used to think that when I was about ten, but it got pushed out of my mind.) So, now I'm a girl, still trapped, but I'm not going to let that stop me from living.

Sorry, so long winded
Note: This method doesn't hold true for everyone, it is just how I arrived where I am.

[Sailor-Neptune]

I'll try and answer them.

Do you feel aroused sexually?
Used too. Now it just sort of feels... right.

Does crossdressing make you feel differently? (good or bad?)
Yes. I kind of feel more care-free.

Do you identify closer to male or female stereotypes? (You see a rabbit. Do you think: Aww, cute bunny!! or Haven't seen a wild one in a while?)
Definately. People point his out to me all the time.

Does your personality change when crossdressed? (Not just gestures, but moods, emotions, confidence?)
Not sure, but I tend to be more daring.

[strycer]

Do you feel aroused sexually?
In the past I did. But that was really before I started crossplaying.

Does crossdressing make you feel differently? (good or bad?)
I feel better when I crossdress. I am more comfortable, relaxed, and feel more like myself.

Do you identify closer to male or female stereotypes? (You see a rabbit. Do you think: Aww, cute bunny!! or Haven't seen a wild one in a while?)
BUNNY! Bunny..bunny..bunny heh

Does your personality change when crossdressed? (Not just gestures, but moods, emotions, confidence?)
My girlfriend says I fully transition and essentially become as much of a girl as I could be.

[Bridget]

Hmm, good set of questions there; here's my answers to it....


Question set:
Do you feel aroused sexually? (not always a fun thought)
Not at all..... and I really dont understand why anyone would. I mean, I guess the "rush" of possibility of getting caught could mean something to some, but like many on these boards, Im doing this out in public with my cosplay anyway, so.....

Does crossdressing make you feel differently? (good or bad?)
Yeah, I guess it really does. I dont like my normal clothes nearly so much, if at all.

Do you identify closer to male or female stereotypes? (You see a rabbit. Do you think: Aww, cute bunny!! or Haven't seen a wild one in a while?)
Female. Definitely, no doubt THERE, never was. Im about as manly as the character in my av and sig there, lol. Alot of guys might be happy to watch the superbowl, or some manly sport or whatnot, or play basketball, but for me, give me a cat and Im good for hours, lol.

Does your personality change when crossdressed? (Not just gestures, but moods, emotions, confidence?)
Yes. I go and do that cosplay of mine, and Im always always in a good mood doing it, and alot more confident; Im comfortable in it (its a very pleasant outfit, really, and I love that habit), and I know I look good in it..... it's quite a boost to my confidence indeed. I tend to be more excitable too.



Hmm, interesting to go through those questions and ponder them.


Now, one question I had, based on this quote here:

Quote

The reasons could be from nature (you're wired closer to a girl than boy)

What does that mean, how does that work, exactly? Im afraid I dont understand completely here..... and I dunno much about genetics or DNA or whatever and whatnot... If that's what you're referring to.

Bit of explanation might help alot, actually.

Cause for me, whatever that is, well, probably holds true to my case; I've never felt like I had much choice in this matter, it's just the way I've always been.

[Hansha]

hehe I wanna try to answer these too!

Question set:
Do you feel aroused sexually? (not always a fun thought)
I used to a lot in private. I was worried about that, but as it turns out when I dress in public I'm not at all.

Does crossdressing make you feel differently? (good or bad?)
I felt really upbeat and happy the whole time I was crossdressing at this recent con. I can't really explain it, but as much as I expected to be a bundle of nerves the whole time I felt just fine.


Do you identify closer to male or female stereotypes? (You see a rabbit. Do you think: Aww, cute bunny!! or Haven't seen a wild one in a while?)
A lot of the time it's kind of distrubing to me even with how comfortable I am these days with my feminine side just how strong it is. I've pretty much never liked sports, when people talk about cars I zone out and think about making something on the computer, I absolutely love little fuzzy things, and often times I scare my sister with how girly some of my interests are.



Does your personality change when crossdressed? (Not just gestures, but moods, emotions, confidence?)
Strangely for the most part my personality doesn't change that much. The main things I noticed were that I was way more confident and happy when I was crossdressed, and somehow something about it just made me feel kind of complete.

Even though I knew I looked silly I just didn't care, which is very unusual for me.


As for why I do it in general... my feeling is leaning more these days towards I just have a very strong feminine side that I keep protected, and just like sometimes a woman likes to wear combat boots and camo to express that that day she's feeling masucline, some days I just wanna wear something frilly and pink.

My reasons are also deeply rooted in my childhood. I had a dad who was not very stable and sometimes was out of control, and a mom who was very forceful in teaching me to be thoughtful of others and things like that. It goes on...


Anyway I hope that you continue to think of your reasons and try not to be afraid of what that digging dredges up. Maybe you just have a strong female side which is perfectly fine, or maybe you have a deeper reason. Either way I encourage you to continue to find ways to act out that part of yourself because getting to know it is a great way to get to know why it exists.

[Abaddon]

Bridget said:

What does that mean, how does that work, exactly? Im afraid I dont understand completely here..... and I dunno much about genetics or DNA or whatever and whatnot... If that's what you're referring to.

Bit of explanation might help alot, actually.

Cause for me, whatever that is, well, probably holds true to my case; I've never felt like I had much choice in this matter, it's just the way I've always been.

Without going into any strong details your mind sits inside your brain and your brain is very much a gloppy organic mess derived from your genetic code. Most likely there is some gene or series of genes that in the end produces some sort of response in your brain that personifies itself as enjoying crossdressing. That's vague as hell, I admit, but most behavior likely has some sort of basis within your genetic code.

[ludum-chan]

Phox3 said:

Question set:

Oooh! Questions!

Phox3 said:

Do you feel aroused sexually? (not always a fun thought)

No, not normally. I'm pretty glad as it's not fun. I don't think the two are linked.

Phox3 said:

Does crossdressing make you feel differently? (good or bad?)

Often I feel a bit better; descriptions I've tried include 'me', 'complete', 'free' and 'whole'. None are quite right. The biggest difference is being able to see myself in a mirror.

Phox3 said:

Do you identify closer to male or female stereotypes? (You see a rabbit. Do you think: Aww, cute bunny!! or Haven't seen a wild one in a while?)

'I hope it doesn't run out in front of my car.' More along the lines of aww, cute bunny, although, knowing that they're coprophagous doesn't really help on the cute side.

I don't like watching sports[1] and the ones I do like to play are (hopefully) non contact. I've got a particular loathing for rugby.

Coding has a serious male bias[2], however I do get to (try to) make beautiful things. (Making design notes in Hello Kitty notebooks gets you weird looks.)

Phox3 said:

Does your personality change when crossdressed? (Not just gestures, but moods, emotions, confidence?)

A bit; generally a bit happier. I've become generally more confident recently, not just whilst dressed.

[1] Sports are good for men, they're one of the two occasions when they're allowed to cry or hug each other[3]. (The other being funerals. One solitary tear is tolerated if they're the father of the bride at a wedding.)
[2] And no shortage of transgendered people either.
[3] As long as they leave sufficient bruising to make it clear for at least the next 3 months that it wasn't a gay hug.

[Phox3]

@Bridget

      What do I mean by wired differently? Well, in the first few weeks of embryonic development all babies are female. It isn't until the introduction of certain hormones, around the eigth or tenth week, that sexual differences in body chemistry start to take place. A popular theory about transgendered people is that during this stage, if not enough of the hormone is present in males, then the brain continues to develop as a female. (That is, until the homone appears later.)

     Basically, if this theory is true than for the early part of our brain development we are wired as females. Believe it or not, females and males are wired differently.

     That's what I meant. Sorry, for the confusion. But remember, this is just a theory.

[Abaddon]

Phox3 said:

@Bridget

Well, in the first few weeks of embryonic development all babies are female. It isn't until the introduction of certain hormones, around the eigth or tenth week, that sexual differences in body chemistry start to take place. A popular theory about transgendered people is that during this stage, if not enough of the hormone is present in males, then the brain continues to develop as a female. (That is, until the homone appears later.)

That's actually a common misconception. A human zygote is the result of the joining of male and female sex cells. At the moment of conception the zygote is either technically male or female because its genetic material including sex chromosomes is differentiated already ie its already XY, XX or not as often something else. After the zygote continues to differentiate it forms what is known as a blastocyst. At this point in development, about a week or so after conception, the blastocyst implants itself into the endometrium. At that moment organosynthesis and neural development begin.

The fetus doesn't start off entirely one sex and then differentiates, it starts off as a lump of cells that has no easily identifiable gender. Its only after time that the clump of cells will differentiate enough that it will either become male or female, not one into the other. It's similar to the chicken and egg argument. Is a male penis a highly developed clitoris or is a clitoris a highly underdeveloped penis? It's kinda gross but that's how development works. It's like starting off with clay then shaping it. The clay isn't by definition anything until you sculpt it.

However the second part of the theory has some merit because female hormonal imbalances during pregnancy have been shown to cause changes in fetal development and subsequent behavior. However this is difficult to prove because we still don't understand the brain fully and the only access to transexual brains that we have are almost always after HRT had been started so there is no way to tell the state of their brains pre transition.

[Phox3]

Thank you for clearing that up.