Scared and 'in the closet' trans M2F.
Posted 22 April 2012 - 03:38 AM
Since I was 13 I have wanted to be female. I have worn all the clothing that a person born female would wear and I feel so comfortable in them but the only issue is .. I can't do it all the time and I want to and I don't trust anyone to talk about it to.. I feel (because transgenders seem to be put down a lot) ashamed of who I am and because of that I have read a lot that it's good to see a therapist but I still can't get the courage to do it (it would mean everyone finding out before I am ready to tell them)
My very first (that I remember) female clothing wear was a bra when I was about 7 years old, from then I just remember paying attention a lot more to what women wear as much as the rest of them. I constantly try talk myself out of being who I really am because I don't want to lose the friends I have because they may not be able to deal with it.. I guess I just need advice on everything.
Items I recently wear: Skirts, bras and thongs, heels, some nice vest shirts. (I stuff the bras with Cotton wool sometimes to give me the chest effect and I regularly wear some sort of thong/brief for women when I am at home)
Makeup - I've worn eye shadow, eye-liner and lipstick but I am planning to (this summer) to do a complete make over when my parents are away on holiday.
Issue: When I do wear clothes (as horrible as it sounds) I have to steal my mothers, I never give them back though and she has found a set of underwear before. (Sucks because I really loved that set) I want to order my own but I don't know where without it coming in some form of box that would give it away (I mean skirts, thongs, bars, stockings (which I LOVE!) suspenders (because I can't shave my legs at the moment which I will in summer also, well at least the thighs anyway) nice tops etc then you're welcome to link me!
This is my first forum for transgenders by the way so I've only just decided to take it to the next step (I've used yahoo but the questions go so quick you barely get any replies) and I'm sorry for a really messy, long post. It's hard to type something you want to badly I write this with excitement knowing that I can do and wear what I want if I could just find the courage to say something..
Posted 22 April 2012 - 03:39 AM
Posted 22 April 2012 - 01:43 PM
I am still the same as way you are and im 21. Due to my dependance on my parents for financial aid for college and the fact i dont make enough to support myself alone, things have been difficult. I used to do the cotton stuffing thing too, looks legit enough. If your old enough and have a job, extra income, start looking for clothes girl! If not, i guess your moms stuff will have to do. (if you do this, return everything, dont steal) Probably the best way to come out is to a friend first. Who knows, maybe that friend could lend or even give you some that fit better and look better on you. Basically you want to get a few people to support you and before you are able to have a nice long talk with your parents, one at a time. I know its incredibly scary to do, but the first step time, friend to friend will get easier with time to build confidence to approach the folks. To get into the conversation with people, try acting a little more female, or dress, small things. it will help, as awkward as it sounds. There are risks remember, maybe losing friends, but you know, friends come and go and the opportunities ahead will surprise you.
If you can get started, you will have to see a therapist or councilor to figure out things and get the okay for hormones. and when you get on those for a while you will have to live full time. Remember, this is your commitment, your true self inside, you need to spread your wings and become the real you! Just think, you are a strong a confident woman, and no one person can stop you from your dreams!
Best of luck girl!
Posted 23 April 2012 - 05:19 PM
ashamed of who I am and because of that I have read a lot that it's good to see a therapist but I still can't get the courage to do it (it would mean everyone finding out before I am ready to tell them)
I guess I just need advice on everything.
This is my first forum for transgenders by the way so I've only just decided to take it to the next step (I've used yahoo but the questions go so quick you barely get any replies) and I'm sorry for a really messy, long post.
You are to be commended very much so, Naui, for posting your concerns on this website. This is an excellent first step, because you can post and talk about what is on your mind, heart, and soul without anyone interfering. A way to be able to take another step and be able to talk to a therapist would be to locate a gender therapist or a clinical social worker, one that is in the same or a nearby city that you live in, and that has had experience with dealing with transgender people. Go to this website to find one-----
After you have located one, then tell your family that you want to talk to a professional about recurring problems with depression. Don't say anything about transgender issues. Then, if you are able to see the therapist, when alone with him or her, then you can talk about gender issues. The therapist must, by law, keep your discussion private. Ask the therapist if you meet the description of a transgender person in the DSM 4. Ask how to handle the telling of family and friends about yourself being a transgender person. Then begin to plan for a " coming out ", if that is what the therapist recommends.
You can still come here and post questions or comments, myself or others will try and answer or offer encouragement, as best as we can. Plus you can read previous threads and comments to see how other people are addressing their cross-cosplay and/or transgender concerns.
I wish you well, from Caravelle.
" F _ _ k
Y _ _ ,
I thought so !
Posted 03 July 2012 - 12:20 PM
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