5 replies to this topic

[Zegram_Ghart]

Okay, before I state my question I have to say that if I use an incorrect term for something I offer apologies beforehand. Unlike some of the other people on here, I haven't crossplayed (CP) before, nor do I wear this stuff all the time. (though I tried some on before) I'm a guy and a friend bet me I wouldn't do a CP, and I thought i'd take him up on it. Now i'm all well and good with doing one just to claim the money, but it occurred to me that if I do it right I can get the satisfaction of blowing him away, not to mention my other friends.

First off, if the idea of doing this as a one off thing, or not doing it for "experimentation" reasons isn't your thing, that's okay. The post is one of many, please don't hate.

I thought of doing Lolita because it's more closely associated with femininity in my mind. Probably just the way I think, but I feel doing this is better than say, KOS-MOS or a Sailor Scout. I'm only doing this though if I can pull it off reasonably well. In other words, if I look like a sissy, i'll change ideas. I want to be able to pass the distance look test. So i plan to take some time, research the heck out of everything, and do this right. Shaving appropriate areas, using a good wig, wearing a well-made dress, etc..  So now, the questions!

1. I've seen a couple threads here and on Cosplay.com about shoes. I know Lolitas wear "Mary Janes", but as a guy with big feet (US 14) I can't find a lot. And the one I do i'm not sure if they're ruly Lolita. Some of them look like they're more Abby Scuito (Goth character from NCIS) than Loli. They might be more like low boots or be platform stompers. I can definately look it up, but is there a definitive guide online as to what makes a shoe a Lolita shoe?
2. I wear glasses, which I know any Lolita, especially a lifestyle one, would wear. But i'm seen some who wear funky glasses, like colored lens ones or perfect circle lens ones. Is this just for cons? And if so, since i'm trying to be one, do I do that, or just wear female glasses in general?
3. I've tried to get a female accent, but it's like to trying to squeeze grape juice from an orange. Is it okay at cons to just bow, or smile, or do hand gestures? Or is talking manditory?
4. Assuming I wear a long sleeve blouse, and a knee length dress, the only area I need to worry about are my hands, wrists, legs, (from socks to dress), and my neck/face. Am I missing an area?
5. Related to previous one. Is there anything I haven't read about (and i've read a lot lately on this stuff) that I should know about? What I mean is anything that one of you guys, specifically those wearing similar clothing and such, thought afterwards, "Man, I wish i'd known this earlier"?

I know a lot of the other obligatory stuff. I'm having a corset custom fitted/made, I will work on my posing, etc...

Thanks a million, and again, apologies if I mispoke.

[..................]

OK, so, 1st off, I'm going to say that lolita may not be the best ides for a one-off sort of thing.  There's a lot of investment in base layers and the community tends to be quite melodramatic and cut throat in its demand to "follow the rules."  Any infraction or perceived infraction seems to make it open season on you and brings on the frowns and hate.  Yes, there's lots of drama in cosplay but the levels in lolita are orders of magnitudes higher.  Stiffen thy resolve and no half-assing anything.  Now on to your questions.

1. I can't help you find large shoes but I know lolitas past a women's size 9 have issues finding shoes.  My guidelines for buying shoes for lolita is looking back to the inspirations for the style, Victorian fashion.  If you look at my gallery you can see one of my lolita coordinates.  I don't have mary janes on but something more like Victorian woman's boots.  This should open up your options for finding shoes because at your size, its going to be hard to find shoes that don't look like fetish wear.  No open-toed shoes.  Other than that, a lot of the stereotypical lolita mary jane is not just in it being a mary jane, but also a very rounded toe with a high toe box.

2.  You can wear your glasses but keep in mind that this is a fashion and very focused on details and coordination with the outfit.  Getting new glasses to match your outfit is expensive.  Opinions on glasses with lolita are mixed but I feel that they should be fashion forward or Victorian (i.e. the perfectly round ones you have seen).  Coordination is key.  Are contacts out of the question?

3. Talking isn't mandatory.  But usually the voice is the biggest tell on anyone crossdressing.  That inclides not talking, talking with a manly voice, talking in falsetto, all of it.  Getting a female voice is a months long process if not years.  I've been crossplaying for 5 years and haven't bothered developing a female voice because of the difficulty of it and possible lingering effects when trying switch back to my male voice for regular life.  Also you said you were going for the distance look test.  That means you don't have to do anything with the voice because you're not going to be shouting at people 15 feet away.

4. Don't forget your adam's apple.  Get some big chunky rings for your hands or floral mesh gloves.  Forget the socks and get opaque tights for your legs.  Wide choker for your adam's apple.

5. Misc. info.

Don't do Sweet lolita.  Unless you're under 25 and a trap already, it's the hardest to pull off. I suggest classic or kuro.  The darker colors will be more forgiving to camouflaging your manly shape.  Sweet and shiro are the opposite.  With their bright colors everything looks bigger.  Sure accessories are easier to track down but most of my accessories for my classic coordinates has come from Claire's Accessories and Forever 21.

Use accessories.  They really help bring the coordinate together and help hide manly features as mentioned above.  This includes base layers and wig.  Bloomers and petticoat are requirements and you should probably have something in your hair.  Wig helps with fullness because even if you have long hair, its usually lacking volume and smoothness.  I see so many males think they don't need a wig because they have long hair but in reality, their long hair is poorly taken care off and is a frizzled mess.

Don't get a dress with bell sleeves or white lace trim.  Same goes for the head dress/lacy tampon things.  Yeah, I know even recent lines from lolita brands have these dresses but they really tend to look like cosplay or really dated.  This is fashion.  You can't wear something that was in 10-15 years ago and hope to pull it off as fashionable, not easily at last.  Lolita characters in anime always seem to wear this dated look which galvanizes the lolita communities negative reaction against it.  Lolita is a continuous struggle to be taken as fashion, not cosplay.  Giant head eating bows are also becoming dated except in over-the top sweet coordinates.

The fashion is victorian inspired.  That means anti-sexual, cover your skin in layers of protection, hence the tights and bloomers under a petticoat and skirt.

This fashion is expensive.  Even if you don't buy brand pieces your base layers are going to set you back $40-$60 bucks.  After shoes and wig, you're probably looking at $250-$300 for your 1st coord.

Lolita is a fashion.  People love to say, "oh, you didn't follow this rule or that rule," but rules are made to be broken in fashion.  I suggest following the rules at 1st so you know when you're breaking them.  Ultimately, if you're a lifestyle lolita, it should reflect your personality.

Zegram_Ghart, on 09 August 2012 - 03:44 PM, said:

Okay, before I state my question I have to say that if I use an incorrect term for something I offer apologies beforehand. Unlike some of the other people on here, I haven't crossplayed (CP) before, nor do I wear this stuff all the time. (though I tried some on before) I'm a guy and a friend bet me I wouldn't do a CP, and I thought i'd take him up on it. Now i'm all well and good with doing one just to claim the money, but it occurred to me that if I do it right I can get the satisfaction of blowing him away, not to mention my other friends.

First off, if the idea of doing this as a one off thing, or not doing it for "experimentation" reasons isn't your thing, that's okay. The post is one of many, please don't hate.

I thought of doing Lolita because it's more closely associated with femininity in my mind. Probably just the way I think, but I feel doing this is better than say, KOS-MOS or a Sailor Scout. I'm only doing this though if I can pull it off reasonably well. In other words, if I look like a sissy, i'll change ideas. I want to be able to pass the distance look test. So i plan to take some time, research the heck out of everything, and do this right. Shaving appropriate areas, using a good wig, wearing a well-made dress, etc..  So now, the questions!

1. I've seen a couple threads here and on Cosplay.com about shoes. I know Lolitas wear "Mary Janes", but as a guy with big feet (US 14) I can't find a lot. And the one I do i'm not sure if they're ruly Lolita. Some of them look like they're more Abby Scuito (Goth character from NCIS) than Loli. They might be more like low boots or be platform stompers. I can definately look it up, but is there a definitive guide online as to what makes a shoe a Lolita shoe?
2. I wear glasses, which I know any Lolita, especially a lifestyle one, would wear. But i'm seen some who wear funky glasses, like colored lens ones or perfect circle lens ones. Is this just for cons? And if so, since i'm trying to be one, do I do that, or just wear female glasses in general?
3. I've tried to get a female accent, but it's like to trying to squeeze grape juice from an orange. Is it okay at cons to just bow, or smile, or do hand gestures? Or is talking manditory?
4. Assuming I wear a long sleeve blouse, and a knee length dress, the only area I need to worry about are my hands, wrists, legs, (from socks to dress), and my neck/face. Am I missing an area?
5. Related to previous one. Is there anything I haven't read about (and i've read a lot lately on this stuff) that I should know about? What I mean is anything that one of you guys, specifically those wearing similar clothing and such, thought afterwards, "Man, I wish i'd known this earlier"?

I know a lot of the other obligatory stuff. I'm having a corset custom fitted/made, I will work on my posing, etc...

Thanks a million, and again, apologies if I mispoke.

[..................]

And if it wasn't clear enough, lolita =/= cosplay.

[Zegram_Ghart]

I may say things out of order here, so read with caution.

First off, I'm not doing this unless I do enough research, and if I can pass at a distance. I have a friend who would apply the makeup because she's loads better at it. (obviously) She has a wig and plans to come to my place at some point to try using makeup and the wig to see if I actually have a shot. No offense to anyone on here, as I haven't been browsing the gallery yet, but browsing the dark side of the net, especially YouTube, has shown me how bad some people look. Whether that's them not putting much effort into it, or as I elude to, they just can't make it work is something I don't know.

Contacts were something I tried about ten years ago. I couldn't seem to get them in my eye because I kept closing my eyes. I might be one of those people who can't do it, or perhaps i require more than three days practice. I have an appt with an optometrist soon so i'll look into it. I'd love to ditch glasses for now, until I get the funds for laser correction.

As far as the different styles I'll look into this. But on the lace mention I know most dresses i've seen have lace. Maybe i'm not looking at enough sites. On the other issues I planned to do a lot of research on things. I know no amount of it will make up for bad acting, but getting the clothes, makeup, accessories right will help.

I read some stuff on Cosplay.com but I don't quite understand the Adam's Apple thing. I know it's more pronounced in men, but unlike my "junk" i can't really hide it, can I? I was thinking of wearing a salopette or jsk with a blouse. Would the blouse serve as a good concealment, or is a choker necessary?

Thanks again,

[..................]

Its last and I should probably safe the response for tomorrow  but here it is.  Sorry if its mildly incoherent.

You are correct in the fact that pretty much all lolita dresses have lace trim.  I was specifically referring to the white lace trim (and mainly when paired with a black dress).  This article might help explain what I'm talking about. Link Just google "lace monster" for more examples.

As for the adam's apple, it has varying degrees of prominence from guy to guy.  If yours isn't that pronounced, it may not be an issue.  You can potentially use a blouse but make sure its a high-collar blouse.  It can also be hidden with neck wear such as a choker, ribbon, which is what I was getting at in my original post.  Playing with light and shadow contouring with make up can also help hide it.

As for your choice of salopette or jsk, don't get a salopette. Guys tend to have longer torsos, lower waists and lower hips than women.  That means a low waist skirt like a salopette makes you look more manly.  Instead go for something with the waist more at a woman's natural waist.  Have a chart for lolita based on body type.

[..................]

1st line should read: "It's late and I should probably save the response for tomorrow but here it is. Sorry if its mildly incoherent."

Luckily that was the most incoherent part of the post.